Heroes: Zeroth
by madking
Summary: In which most Masters in the Fourth Holy Grail War have their Servants swapped for... lest conventional Heroes. With a laughing Angra Mainyu watching, let the Match of a lifetime begin! Expect a lot of swearing, destruction of public property, and Waver being a noob.


**Heroes: ZEROTH**

**Chapter I**

**All Pick**

Like all things, the reason that the Fourth Holy Grail War escalated to such an extent was simple…

It was from boredom. Sheer, unending _boredom_.

And frankly, for Angra Mainyu _hated_ the boredom that he is currently feeling. And will feel, anyway. Because of his current… 'Situation', he could easily see the forthcoming events of the War. Well, just little bits, but it was more than enough of a spoiler to _bore_ him to near death. For being the part of the Grail had allowed him access (albeit limited as it was) to the Throne of Heroes, and in extension, the Root.

The greatest reason for his coming boredom was… the Servants. Sure, they were great and all (Gilgamesh, Iskandar… jeez, Magus these days and their obsessions with demigods…), but… so very… _usual_. Always the strongest, always the holiest. Nothing new, nothing unorthodox, nothing _that can excite All the World's Evils._

Iskandar. King of Conquerors, resident Rider and will- be Servant to the meek Waver Velvet. Sure, Angra Mainyu _liked_ the sheer destructiveness of his Noble Phantasm… but only that. All the World Evil's shuddered at the thought of the man unleashed upon the modern world.

Gilgamesh. King of Heroes, Archer of the War, and one arrogant bastard. As much as he hated the world, Angra Mainyu still has standards. And sending the Golden Prick to be the Servant of Tokiomi Toshaka would be _overkill_ in his part. And anyway, he wanted to torture the wine- drinking Magus a _tad bit_ more.

Diarmuid. Legendary hero and a spearman of no equal. Boring. Sure, his curse is amusing… but not much else. Pass.

Gilles des Rais. Madman, heretic and designated Caster. A man after his own heart, as far as Angra Mainyu is concerned. Yet his ways would endanger the War- and in extension, himself. As much as he wanted the man to be summoned… he would be forced to call upon someone as sadistic… but far more subtle

Lancelot du Lac. As a Berserker no less! A fairly good choice, but the Saber being his King… well, All the World's Evils can see the coming drama from a very, very _far_ distance. No thanks.

Assassin? Sure, not the usual one, but boring all the same. Angra Mainyu ditched the Hassan immediately after thinking of him.

And last- but not least- was the Saber. Arturia Pendragon. The fabled King of Knights, the actually- female- King. Now, Angra Mainyu didn't really care all that much for the King. As far as he could see, the King would be suffering enough with dealing with her Master.

And so, in deep thought, Angra Mainyu decided upon a way to break the coming boredom before it even arrived. By changing the Servant with those that he had decided upon. Those that will amuse his sense of sadistic pleasure.

The Caster… one who is as crazy as Gilles des Rais… only, less conspicuous.

The Lancer… someone unable to cause to much drama… but still able to one up his Master.

The Rider… one who is able to destroy Waver's sense of ego… and forge him to something far more comic…

The Archer… anyone except of Gilgamesh… that should be enough to piss off Tokiomi…

The Berserker… someone far more devastating than even the likes of Lancelot, but still in the form of a knight- or a mockery of it…

The Assassin… one who has never been sent to the War, even though they have all the required skills… someone able to toy with Kirei, for a chance.

The Saber… no, Angra Mainyu thought. He would leave the Knight to her fate… far more amusing that way…

And so, with a mad cackle on his lips, the representation of All the World's Evil chose the new Servants…

And with it, began an all new version of the Fourth Holy Grail War. Somewhere out there, an old vampire is laughing, viewing the coming chaos with glee.

"Just as planned." Zelretch whispered, before exploding once more into a fit of mad laughter.


End file.
